The Vehicles Earth

By the CAR road test team
Long Term Tests
The Mini survives a collision - 1 May 2012

Some idiot drove into me last week. The optically-challenged octogenarian obviously didn't see me – the Coupe being tricky to spot being bright red with twinkling daylight running lights and all – because he entered the mini roundabout and tried to drive straight through me. The offside rear took the full brunt of the collision, but despite it sounding like a grenade had detonated in the Coupe’s boot and resulting in the nose of the retiree’s Civic looking mashed and mangled, damage to the Mini was visually superficial. The rear left wheel was deeply scuffed and the black plastic wheelarch lining was lightly scratched. And that was it.

After we swapped details, which took a while as the Honda driver had difficulty juggling his pipe and my pen, I gingerly attempted to complete the rest of my trip home – less than a few hundred yards – at walking pace, fully expecting the car to crab sideways and the cabin to fill with wince-inducing graunching and grinding noises.

There was no such anticipated ruckus and no wayward dynamics. The Mini rode and handled exactly the way it had done before the collision, but I was absolutely livid. The Mini had just been fitted with winter tyres – hence the switch to standard alloys – and was absolutely immaculate after a meticulous valet, but the Honda-Mini interface now meant I wouldn’t be able to drive the Coupe until the damage was repaired and the tracking was realigned.

The next morning I inspected the Mini thoroughly. Apart from the kerbed alloy and marked wheelarch lining, there was nothing I could see or detect that looked out of place. A few slow runs up and down the road further convinced me I would be able to trundle it up to Vines of Guildford – the Mini  bodyshop closest to my office in Godalming – without further damage to the car, myself and the West Sussex and Surrey countryside.

Vines were very good in all respects. I dropped the car off later that week for them to assess and repair. I was offered a courtesy car – something the other driver’s insurance was very keen for me to have – but as I was only a few miles down the road and the job would take a day at most, I took Vines up on their offer to drop and collect me from their premises using their customer shuttle service – a Volkswagen Caravelle driven by an plummy avuncular chap who used to work in advertising. The alloy was replaced, as was the black wheelarch lining and despite the impact, the checked suspension and tracking were found to be fine. All a bit of non-event after a rather dramatic end to a day’s commute.

By Ben Whitworth